Community: - Wrecked for the Ordinary

Solidarity with Haiti: Texting Earthquake Relief

Sat, 20 Feb 2010 00:00:00 GMT

I got an email yesterday saying I could send a text message which would donate $10 to the relief effort in Haiti after the catastrophic earthquake. A single text message, and my conscience is clear, right?

Not quite, and I certainly hope that's not the case for those who decide to use this method of donating money. I hope we would feel a stronger sense of responsibility to the people of Haiti than simply sending $10 and being done with it. But how does a person begin to feel a sense of responsibility toward another?

Theologian Jurgen Moltmann writes, "It is only in the foreign land that we experience what home is. It is only in the face of death that we experience the uniqueness of life. It is only in strife that we know how to appreciate peace. It is in our encounter with others that we experience our own selves."

In the case of the earthquake in Haiti, how much of ourselves will we be compelled to give if we do not know a single Haitian? The images and news reports will pull at our heartstrings, but what will urge us to draw from resources we might not have known we had? Simple answer: Friendship.

I pass by people asking me for money every day and inevitably, I say no. Enter Calvin and his wife. They are very nice. I've known them about a year. Every week we gather with some other friends and neighbors from the community and have dinner together. Calvin is one of the funniest guys I've ever met, and his wife is always full of energy. One night, Calvin showed up at my door. He told me times were hard and that he and his wife were so low on funds that they couldn't even buy necessities like food and toilet paper.

I don't like to practice random charity: just giving people something and telling them to go away. That's why I didn't feel right giving Calvin a few dollars, but I didn't do much better. I told him I would not give him any money, but I would give him some toilet paper (luckily I had just stocked up) and a few canned goods. We chatted for a few minutes, and then he was on his way. Surely, there must have been a better option.

I like to think that the little exchange we had as we talked did the most good to comfort Calvin that night. It wasn't much, but it was more than just clearing my conscience. It was me battling with my conscience, battling with my relatively privileged background, and battling with my own selfishness. I knew Calvin and that personal connection meant that I had to do more than just appease my conscience. I had to concern myself with a friend.

Since the earthquake occurred in Haiti, I have been invited to at least five prayer services. When I received these invitations, my initial reaction was one of disgust. It would be disgusting to sit in a beautifully-adorned cathedral while hundreds of thousands suffer without food, water, or shelter. It would be disgusting to pretend my meager words would help at all. Most of all, it would be disgusting to use words and thoughts instead of actions at a time like this. Yet, in the middle of my disgust, I am reminded of the words of King Solomon, who said "there is a time for mourning, and a time for dancing." (Ecclesiastes 3:4) If anything, this is a time for mourning.

As I've begun to mourn this devastation, I feel a keen sense of God's mourning as well. In a special way, God is with those who suffer and is himself familiar with suffering. Henri Nouwen writes, "The violence, greed, lust, and so many other evils that have distorted the face of the earth and its people cause the beloved Son of God to mourn. We too must mourn if we hope to experience God's consolation."

Perhaps our disgust in times of tragedy is simply a means of mourning and should be embraced. If this is the case, does our anger and disgust bring us closer to the heart of God and stir us to action? Will our times of mourning lead us into times of dancing, where we become passionately involved in God's redemptive activity in the world?

Getting to know people is difficult. Some may ask why we should spend our lives with folks who are different from us when there are plenty of places where we may find similar people? What if we find things about ourselves that we don't like as we interact with others? This is a danger that requires courage and a good deal of prayer.

Though most of us will never know a person living in Haiti, there are people all around us waiting to be known, though years of rejection may have caused them to build up defenses. Patiently breaking through these defenses is not for the weak of heart. However, as we stretch ourselves toward others, mourning and dancing with them, we begin to catch small glimpses of that beloved community Martin Luther King, Jr. once spoke about. These small glimpses will transform and sustain us as participants in God's reconciling work in this world.

So please, send your donations and go to prayer services in beautiful cathedrals. These are great things. Remember, though, that lasting change is only found in solidarity with others.

Adam is a hip-hop artist (MC Till) and member of the Walnut Hills Fellowship in Cincinnati, Ohio. For more information, visit www.mctill.com or email him at mctillmusic@gmail.com.

Beau is a candidate for ministry in the Presbyterian Church (USA) studying at Louisville Seminary. You can email him at bbrown1@gmail.com.

Photo by Adam McLane.

Provoking the Enemy: Reflecting on Amy Bishop Shooting

Thu, 18 Feb 2010 00:00:00 GMT

Written in response to the shooting incident at UA-Huntsville where professor Amy Bishop gunned down three colleagues:

A 14-year-old boy takes a gun to school and murders his classmate. Exactly a week later, in the same town, a college professor takes a gun to school and shoots up a meeting with her fellow faculty.

This happened in a quaint northern Alabama city. It happened in my city.

This city is a city of high moral values and family friendliness. Where some cities have a bar on every corner, this has a church. Those churches are active in going into ghettos and strip clubs, reaching out to the wounded and getting rid of the evil.

All my life, I've had friends visit me from all over the country and all over the world. The comments are the same: never have they seen such a close Christian community like the one I experience every day.

With all of this, there is no question that the Enemy hates this city, this boldly evangelical city. It's a wonder that his tactics for fighting back have been so minimal.

But after such evil as we have experienced recently, we can be assured that he is not sleeping. He's prowling, looking for ways to target his greatest Foe. So he frightens us with shootings in schools and laughs when we think harsher gun laws and putting up metal detectors will stop the wickedness.

But we have reason to laugh, too. For we know with certainty that he will not win. Let him have his small victories. Let him work his schemes on his wacko servants who think they use guns for their own purposes. We know the truth.

Our Master may will that our victories come to an end in this place. But no matter where the enemy takes up residence and even, seemingly, control, he will never be in charge. The same enemy who had to ask God's permission to torment Job has to ask permission of the Almighty to torment my city.

And the Almighty has greater plans for this torment. It is not useless evil or pointless pain. It is to show Himself faithful to His servants and display His glory amidst a perverted generation.

So His servants will continue to fight until we are called home. We will continue to provoke the enemy without fear. Our Master is, and always will be, stronger. The enemy has already been defeated. It is only a matter of time before he is taken captive and tried for his rebellion.

And he knows that time is running out.

If you liked this, check out: The North Side: Looking Beyond Appearance

Katherine is a freelance writer and blogger. She loves to go on random adventures and work odd jobs, if only to have something to write about. When she's not adventuring, she is playing sister to her girlfriends, guy-friends, and five younger siblings. Katherine lives in Alabama with her family.

The Plea for Partisanship

Mon, 15 Feb 2010 00:00:00 GMT

It's quite peculiar when our political leaders rally to put an end to "partisan politics," urging us to work together for the common good. It's a very cute, fluffy, and innocent sounding idea.

Ideally, we would never argue. Ideally, we would work together for the good of the country. Ideally, filibusters and vetoes wouldn't be necessary. Then again, ideally, we wouldn't have the need for a government.

Partisanship, an elitist word simply meaning "disagreement," has had its character assassinated (another great political phrase) by both major parties. The p-word has now taken on an altogether negative association, thanks to the very people who criticize it. It is a cruel irony when either party calls for an end to the p-word, for this call is usually followed by an attack on the opposing party for engaging in covert acts of partisanship.

The truth is, the progression of humanity has depended upon partisanship for its very survival. Without partisanship, we can quietly erase the abolition of slavery, the Civil Rights and Suffrage movements, the repeal of Prohibition, and numerous war protests from our history textbooks. It remains no small detail that without partisanship, we wouldn't even have history textbooks to erase, unless they were covering the history of our friends across the Pond.

Dissent has played a leading role in the drama of Western history. Because we do not live in a perfect world, it is necessary for social and political rebels to occasionally rise up and revolt against the powers that be.

Thomas Jefferson once boldly asked, "What country can preserve its liberties if their rulers are not warned from time to time that their people preserve the spirit of resistance...the tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots & tyrants. It is its natural manure."

While it's not ideal, neither is government. While it's not perfect, neither is humanity. As long as heaven cannot be used to describe our present state of existence, partisanship will be a necessary evil in the fight for all that is good.

The day that we abandon partisanship as a way of combating our political and social enemies will signify one of two things-we have either given up on the pursuit of hope, or we have achieved our ultimate goal.

It is true that sometimes the end justifies the means. The only question is discerning which is which.

Tim is a writer hoping that somehow, someway, his work will influence the world in a positive way. He is currently an undergraduate student at North Central University in downtown Minneapolis.

CREATE: An Intentional Christian Community

Tue, 2 Feb 2010 00:00:00 GMT

The "American Dream" can keep us from seeing other people's needs. Parental expectations keep us from seeing God's plan for our lives. Entertainment can suck up time that could be better spent. All this stuff drowns out the cries of people all around us. But seeing the struggles of the people living in disadvantaged neighborhoods, seeing their tears, becoming their friend. The things that usually define our lives don't seem to matter; because we discover something better. Something real -- love.

Three years ago, I got a work study job working with inner city kids through my college. I started it so it would look good on my resume and help me get a good paying teaching job after I finished school. On the first day, I rode the bus just twenty minutes, and I was met by a classroom of smiling four-year-olds. The majority of them came over the me and rubbed my skin and held their arms up to mine. It took me a few seconds to realize, but they were so fascinated with me because they had never seen a white person before.

Every day, I would be met by children who would come to school hungry and in the same clothes as the day before. I learned that many of the parents of these precious children were still in high school. Many of the kids did not know their fathers. Some of them got sick and could not afford to go to the doctor. Some of the parents could not read. At the same time back in school, I was learning that the number one predictor of high school success is how many books are read to kids when they are young.

My heart began to break for these children. My parents told me about how dangerous traveling into the neighborhood was, how there were news stories all the time about shootings and drug busts. This was scary to me. Not because I was afraid for myself on the bus ride over, but because this is the environment that every single child in my class was living in. Most of the kids had never left this tiny section of the city. When I heard about a tragedy on the news, I also would hear is from the mouth of three and four-year-olds. They would tell me about the gun shots they heard the night before and one even told me about their uncle's was murder.

Some teachers thought that the time commitment was too great. That I was spending too much time there, therefore not leaving enough time for my studies. But to be honest, the importance of my schoolwork paled in comparison to what these kids were living through. I was studying to learn how to work with kids, and instead of just reading about it in a text book, I was able to do it.

This one year of working at this preschool opened my eyes up to the pains and the struggles of inner city families. It rerouted my life. It took away my plans of becoming a teacher and moving into the woods somewhere. After seeing what I saw, I became curious. After some research of my own, I found out the Boston is a divided and messed up place. There are white neighborhoods made up of educated well to do folks. Then, their are black neighborhoods, where less than half the kids graduate high school, and less than ten percent will enroll in college. Strange when you think about it, seeing as over three hundred thousand people move to this very city to attend college.

Boston's colleges and universities have a major impact on the city and region's economy, with students contributing over four billion dollars annually to the city's economy. These facts prompted a series of questions. What if when students came, they did not just boost the economy? What is they loved their neighbors? What if they had the opportunity to show the residents of Boston who Jesus is by modeling His teachings? What if college students had the opportunity to team with people, young and old, and work together to see lives and communities transformed. They could be a part of something bigger. They could transform lives; the lives of local residents, as well as their own.

This is where the vision for C.R.E.A.T.E. was born. I was concerned that while I was paying well over thirty grand a year for college, there were people in my neighborhood hungry, cold, homeless, neglected, and abused. There were people who did not have the resources to succeed. After some prayer, seeking advice from people much wiser and older than I, and some serious Bible reading, I realized that the only way that things in Boston could ever change for the better is if a bridge would be built between communities of Boston that have been historically separated. If the privileged and educated used their gifts and skills to serve the underprivileged and the marginalized. If they moved into these neighborhoods, to stay and to integrate themselves into the daily grind. Rather than pushing out the locals, they go, they stay, and they love.

The plan is to buy a house in Mattapan, a 2.8 square mile section in southern Boston. In fact, we have already fallen in love with a house. The house is beautiful, and it is located across the street from one of the largest housing developments in Boston. We are going to buy this house, fix it up (it has been empty for well over five years now), and love the way that Jesus has loved us.

We will be serving our neighbors through practical means, like GED tutoring, financial planning courses, free child care, and some other services that leaders in the neighborhood told us would be helpful. But more than that, we want to form relationships. We want to invite our neighbors over for dinner, we want to learn about them, we want to learn from them, and hopefully in the process, we can share the love of Christ with them.

We invite you -- to give up a few years, or heck, your whole life, to living simply in this intentional community so that together we can love with no limits. We have a vision of growth. Of something bigger than ourselves, of emerging leaders, of equipping more people to go out and do the same thing in other neighborhoods of Boston, New England, America, and the world.

For more details on how you can get involved, please you can email CREATEboston@gmail.com.

Renee is part of a team that is starting up a new intentional community in Mattapan, Massachusetts, a neighborhood on Boston's southern edge. In Mattapan, over a fourth of the population is living below the poverty line, and less than 10% of high school grads will attend college, despite the fact they live five minutes away from hundred of prestigious colleges and universities.

Interview with Stuff Christians Like Author Jon Acuff

Tue, 1 Dec 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Stuff Christians Like is a blog authored by Jonathan Acuff. Started in March of 2008 in reaction to the blog Stuff White People Like, Acuff takes a semi-satirical look at the world of Christian culture with the overarching question, "Does the stuff we like ever get in the way of the God we love?" Through the use of humor, Acuff attempts to reveal to readers how their faith is affected by the things they like.

We recently had the opportunity to interview Acuff to learn more about Stuff Christians Like and get a glimpse of his passion and upcoming projects, including an SCL book!

Wrecked: Jon, I'm sure you've heard this before, but what led you to start Stuff Christians Like?

Acuff: It was a classic "Christian rip-off." There was another really popular site called Stuff White People Like. I've always thought it's odd that we don't use our best creativity to celebrate the creator of creativity - God. Sometimes we take really popular secular ideas and then put a God spin on them. I thought that doing that, creating the Christian version of the "like" concept, might be a good way to talk about that problem.

Wrecked: SCL clearly takes a page from the popular blog "Stuff White People Like" (and all of the other "Stuff [insert group here] like" blogs that ensued). However, SCL has developed trust and integrity with a large readership in a uniquely endearing way. How did you avoid doing the typical "Christian borrowing from pop culture" routine? In other words, how were you intentional (or were you) in making sure that you weren't creating the blog from of "Test-A-Mints"? (Sorry for the long question...)

Acuff: I see the site as a chance to create a big mirror we can all look in and say, "Wow, is that what Christianity is all about right now? Is that me? Is that what it means to be loving? Am I OK with that?" That to me is what satire does, it blows up an issue so that people can talk about it and reflect on it. With that as the goal, it's easier to avoid just shuffling out cheesy cliches.

Wrecked: SCL celebrated its first birthday earlier this year. You're approaching the benchmark of having over 1 million visitors to the site in that time. Each blog post can easily get a long stream of a couple hundred comments. You have seen incredible growth and have a pretty loyal following right now. What has this taught you about community and leadership and sharing a message worth hearing (both in the virtual and "real" worlds)?

Acuff: I think that the biggest thing is that honesty is a really powerful thing. Although I fail at this sometimes, honesty is the thread I try to put in every post. And that there's a world of creative, insightful, funny Christians that want to talk about the world and how we're living in it.

Wrecked: You've used your blog recently to raise money for two kindergartens to be built in Vietnam. How did that come about? What advice do you have for others who are passionate about using the written word (especially blogs) to make a difference in the world?

Acuff: So about a year ago, while flipping through a book, my 6 year old daughter saw a photo of a starving child. When I told her he didn't have enough food to eat, she got quiet and then said, "That's not real though. That's pretend right?"

That simple question really challenged me about the things in this world I'm OK with being "real." Like poverty and starving kids and children with no hope. After years of my family personally supporting Samaritan's Purse, I decided to see if I could support them with my blog. One of the lessons I've learned is that the cause has to be personal to you. I started it because my daughter is in kindergarten and I wanted to give other kids the chance. I had a pre-existing relationship with Samaritan's Purse. I had spent 18 months writing almost every day with the readers of the blog. This whole thing was very personal to me and the people involved.

Wrecked: What can you tell us about the SCL book? Will there be new content in there, as well as some of the favorites from the blog? What was the process like for you, and what other writing projects do you have in the works?

Acuff: The book is more than 80 fresh, never-before-seen essays and 40 classics from the blog. The hardest part of the process was writing new content for the blog and the book at the same time. Other blog authors often quit their blogs when they write a book but I felt it was important to keep it going while I wrote the book. I am working on a second book right now. The Stuff Christians Like book comes out in April and is available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble for a pre-order right now.

Wrecked: It seems that you've been traveling a lot more -- to various conferences and whatnot. Has that been enjoyable for you to get to speak more? Where can we find you next?

Acuff: I love to speak. It's as fun to me as writing is. I've booked a few conferences for next year but with the book coming out in April my schedule is kind of up in the air. Plus, I have a full time job in an IT department. I have a limited number of vacation days and all that, so I try to stay faithful to my God, my family, my job and my friends as I figure out this author/speaker thing.

Wrecked: Okay, Jon. It's time to be sagely. What pithy advice do you have for aspiring, semi-satirical writers like yourself?

Acuff: Set a time you are going to write every day and then do it. Don't waste time every day deciding if you are going to write. Just write.

Wrecked: Here's a bonus question: do you wear V-necks or carry a "man bag"? Be honest now...

Acuff: I love v-necks and recently went back to my first love, the backpack. Someone asked me the other day in the break room at work if I was going camping. You look 12 when you wear a backpack but that's just the way I get down.

To pre-order Acuff's book, Stuff Christians Like, which releases in April 2010, click here or visit the Stuff Christians Like blog.

Jeff graduated from Illinois College, a small liberal arts school, with a degree in Spanish and Religion. He lives in Nashville, TN. He works for Adventures In Missions, edits this silly little magazine, and loves to do new things. He just got married in January. Check out his blog: Pilgrimage of the Heart.

Tribes: Leaving Christianity as a Destination

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 00:00:00 GMT

You make your way through the long checkout and hand over the goods and use your medium of exchange to purchase some snacks for tonights' game. You communicate by using the language of the tribe. You use the tools of the tribe, like the bags they use to carry the goods. In that moment, you are a part of their tribe. The tribe of Wal-Mart.

You go to a football game and people in this tribe use screaming as part of their tribal language. They raise their hands. They buy beer. They hug people they don't know. But for those in the tribe, this is not odd behaviour. Its expected and accepted. This is the tribe of the Dallas Cowboys.

You go to a building down the street where some of the people get together on stage and create a concert experience where all can experience their interpretation of the divine. And a speaker gets up and relays words from the divine one to the masses who sit in the blue plastic chairs.. And they masses go home and digest the words. They too have their own language.

They too are one of the many tribes in the world.

We live our lives in tribes. We speak our own languages. Our very own families make up our initial tribe. We have memories and jokes that are only known within this context that no one else could ever know. Our next outer tribe would be our friends. Then maybe where we shop. Where we eat. Where we worship the god we believe in.

Tribes aren't bad. But, if we never interact with other tribes. Then our tribe becomes our world. Our reality. Our own code within the tribe becomes the only right way to do things. Right way to believe. And right way to live. The tribe itself becomes the ultimate authority and the community we were all meant to experience becomes centered around those we call our tribe. This can be dangerous because the tribe was never intended to be the point. The tribe was intended to be the vehicle we all drive to discover our part in the journey.

Samir Selmanovic, author of It's All About God, is a Muslim Atheist Jewish Christian and says this about the tribe of Christianity:

"So herein lies the choice for those of us who are Christians. We can either stay within the Christianity we have mastered with the Jesus we have domesticated, or we can leave Christianity as a destination, embrace Christianity as a way of life, and then journey to reality, where God is present and living in every person, every human community, and all creation."

Samir lays down the gauntlet. He invites all followers of God to see that we are invited into a way of life. Not a set of rights and wrongs, dogmas or doctrines, but a manner of life that is committed to see the value in all people. Where our tribe doesn't rule. But our desire to serve the other drives all we say and do even at the risk of the tribe.

Jesus did many things that would seem counter to his tribe but was so compelled by his love for the other, that his fierce compassion drove him to even break rules like the Sabbath and the Mosaic law because the person that he was interacting with was the point. Restoring the person's status within a society that said they could not be a part. Healing someone. Forgiving them. Challenging them.

Muslims. Atheists. Buddhists. These tribes are not our enemies.

I recently came back from Pakistan where the Christians and Muslims use the same word for God, and neither groups see this act as something offensive. It is a point that brings them together. Once we realize that our tribe isn't the point it opens up the possibility of creating dialogue amongst other religions who are in the search for truth just as much as we are.

It allows us to love the other.

To share our beliefs with one another and reintroduce Jesus and his campaign of compassion, grace and love to those we might have once thought to be against us. He says to the disciples in one place, if people are for us then do all you can to encourage them and don't stop them. I hope we can all come to a place where we don't stop those who are on their search for God whatever tribe they belong to or language they use within that tribe.

George loves the outdoors, singing in the shower and doing underwater, synchronized pilates. He is currently working on a book entitled Jesus Bootlegged: Recapturing the Stolen Message of Jesus for The World. You can read more about him at his blog.

Invite or Invade: The Art of Christian Community

Tue, 29 Sep 2009 00:00:00 GMT

When it comes to the impact we long to have as human beings, we must be intelligent in how we approach our relationships. To build and develop true relational influence, we have to be invited into someone's relational space as opposed to what we sometimes do, which is invade someone's relational space.

By "relational space," I mean that invisible dynamic inside of people where they either open themselves to someone else's input or resist it. For instance, if someone refuses to allow us into his "relational space," that means he'll resist any advice, input, or coaching we offer. In leadership, we often don't pay close enough attention to this interpersonal dynamic, and in the process, we break trust, lose credibility, and diminish our capacity to influence.

Let's think about this dynamic in a different way. Imagine hiring a personal trainer at a local gym to help you get in shape. By hiring him, you give him permission to coach you, offer you advice, and even push you to exercise with greater effort and focus. You are inviting him into your "space."

On the contrary, imagine seeing a friend at the mall. After saying hello, he begins assessing your physical health, tells you how much you need to exercise, and then commands you to "get down and do 50 pushups." I don't know about you, but I'd be wondering where the hidden camera is.

When put in these terms, this sounds bizarre. But enter the world of relationships, and we often ignore this same principle. We offer advice, input, and coaching to people who have not yet invited us into their relational space. To them, our approach may even seem bizarre because we're trying to impose on them something they've never asked us to give them.

Maybe this happens with a younger person on your team whom you think would benefit from your advice, or with a person you're trying to mentor but you haven't established a mentoring relationship, or maybe someone you supervise at work, or as a volunteer, and you assume they want your help. Just because you live in close relational proximity to them, or just because you have a position of authority over them, doesn't mean you've established trust, credibility, or a voice of influence in their life. That has to be earned.

If we make the wrong assumptions in the relational world of leadership, our relational unintelligence will lead us toward diminishing impact.

Even if our motives are sincere in wanting to make a positive impact on someone, when we force our way into a person's relational space, they sense our invasion, and will resist. More often than not, they resist because they feel we're barging in without knocking. They haven't opened the door and welcomed our input, advice, or coaching. This is their choice. Sometimes we short-circuit the process because we think we have all the right answers for them.

Relationally intelligent leaders refuse to invade people's space, but instead, wait to be invited into it so their influence expands rather than diminishes. They know this is where true relational influence happens.

One of the primary ways to identify whether we're being invited in comes down to our ability to read and discern non-verbal signs. People emit invisible vibes (or signs) that tell us something. Everyone sends them out, thus communicating whether they're open or closed off to us. This is revealed primarily through body language, but also through the emotional energy a person emits. For example, someone could maintain a welcoming and open spirit, or they could emit an aloof and distant one. People tell us without words whether they want our advice or input, and relationally intelligent leaders pay close attention.

Sometimes people come right out and tell us directly that they don't want our advice, but most people choose to send non-verbal cues to try and tell us to back off, or at least that our input isn't welcomed. They may do this for a plethora of reasons. It isn't a right or wrong thing. In fact, sometimes it's very appropriate for a person to resist our coaching or wisdom because we haven't earned the right to be heard.

Sometimes their non-verbal emissions are obvious and strong, while other times they're subtle and difficult to sense. Often we can identify them, but when we can't, it's usually ok to ask. We could ask something like, "Do you mind if I share some insight into what you're going through?" This gives a person an opportunity to invite us into their relational space and welcome our input. It doesn't always mean they'll directly say no, but if they withdraw or seem resistant, they're probably trying to tell us, "No thanks." If someone is sharing a personal struggle with us, we could ask them, "Are you looking for help and advice, or are you looking just to talk this out?" This helps inform us on how to best respond to the person in a way that honors and respects their journey and our relationship with them.

All of this doesn't mean there aren't moments when we push through resistance and challenge people to grow and change. And to be clear, I'm certainly not advocating for some passive way of leadership. It's just that in many leadership circles, we rarely seek to honor this invitational dynamic, we continually overlook the non-verbal cues and often fail to ask permission to push rather than forcing our agenda upon someone.

Jesus' way of leadership was not one that forced an invasive agenda upon people rather it was one that served others with great honor and respect. And since God doesn't force Himself on people neither should we. But God does jump at the chance to serve people if they invite Him in. His posture is always bent toward serving others, and He's a model we can emulate as we strive to become more relationally intelligent in our leadership.

Steve is a writer, speaker, and consultant who specializes in leadership development, spiritual formation, and maximizing talent and creativity. He is author of the new book, Relational Intelligence and contributer for Published Daily.

Conversations That Change Everything

Thu, 24 Sep 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Conversations are what we do as human beings -- we talk, we listen, and we exchange words with one another. Some of us tend to talk more, while others tend to listen more, but if you have any doubt that conversations virtually define our human experience, listen to these statistics.

The average person says between 13,000 and 20,000 words per day. Men speak approximately 4.68 million words per year and 375 billion words in a lifetime. And women speak approximately a trillion words in a lifetime. That's a lot of talking!

Despite the difference of a few hundred billion words between men and women spoken throughout life, the reality remains-we all know how to talk.

But...just because we are good at talking doesn't mean we are good at conversation. It would be a mistake to think that because we're inundated with words (billions throughout our lives), that we will automatically excel in dialogue.

Just as someone who has excessive contact with water doesn't (as a result) become an Olympic swimmer, so it is with conversations. Becoming a skilled swimmer is determined by what someone actually does while they are in the water. It's how they practice, how they strengthen their muscles, and how they treat their bodies.

Michael Phelps didn't become the greatest swimmer in history by taking warm baths all the time. In fact, in his pursuit of winning an unprecedented eight gold medals in the 2008 Olympics, Phelps spent extraordinary amounts of time not only in the water, but diligently developing his swimming skills. In the 7 years leading up to the Olympics, he spent only 5 days out of the water! In addition, he ate between 10,000 and 12,000 calories per day to gain the energy he needed. How I wish I could eat that many calories and have that physique. Phelps didn't accomplish something that no one else has ever done simply by having contact with water.

This same principle applies to how we use our words in conversations. We can't simply be in contact with words and expect to become Olympic level conversationalists. It will only become a reality when we strengthen our conversational skills, when we learn how to better treat the people we interact with, and when we consistently practice the discipline of creating meaningful and intentional dialogue.

That's essentially what conversational mavens do.

Conversational mavens are experts of dialogue who understand the power of words, and are able to create, sustain, and catalyze substantial and meaningful conversations that affect people's lives, even after the conversation is over.

Leaders who establish the deepest levels of influence are those whose interpersonal conversations leave a lasting and distinct mark. They consistently walk away from a dialogue having provoked new thoughts and ideas that people continue to mull over even after the interaction ends. This doesn't mean they're always trying to say something profound, because sometimes their impact could come through a question they ask, by expressing something they've been pondering, or by simply challenging someone's paradigm of thinking.

Being a conversational maven is not just about being clever or witty with our words, and it's not simply about making people feel good, or even making ourselves feel good. It begins by understanding the power and gravity of our words so that we learn to use each and every one of them to generate life, inspire greatness, bring us closer to one another, and ultimately, to unite people with the God who created them.

The essence of conversation involves stringing our words together to create the impact we long to make. The words we choose to use are primarily how we relate to one another, and if we want to increase our impact, we must spend them wisely because conversations are the currency of our relationships. How we spend our words determines the quality and depth of our relationships as well as the expansion of our influence.

To become a conversational maven, we must never underestimate the substantial impact even one conversation can have, remembering that our words can be a force of good that creates life, or a force of negativity and evil that breeds pain, brokenness, and dysfunction. If we ignore the power of words, we'll miss great opportunities to make a significant impact on people's lives.

If we're going to seize the great opportunities that emerge in our relationships, we must become mavens who strengthen our conversational skills, consistently practice creating meaningful and intentional dialogue, and spend our words wisely in every interaction we engage in. Then we'll be on our way to becoming a masterful expert of dialogue, a true conversational maven by engaging conversations that change everything.

Friday Five: Remembering 9/11

Fri, 11 Sep 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Yes, we know, we're not original by taking time out to remember 9/11. Still, though, we need to.

1. Where were you when you first learned about the terrorist attacks?

2. Did you know anyone who was the victim of one of the attacks?

3. Had you ever been to the World Trade Center prior?

4. Have you been to ground zero?

5. What gave you hope in the aftermath of 9/11?

Bonus: I know it may feel weird, but we should really take just a few second to pray for a few people. First, pray for the family members of the victims. Second, pray for our country's leaders, public servants, and military. Third, pray for Al Quaeda and Osama bin Laden.

Friday Five: Clothing Optional

Fri, 4 Sep 2009 00:00:00 GMT

How many of you clicked into this article because you were like, "What? Clothing optional?!?! I've got to check this out!"

Yeah, we thought most of you probably did. Sickos. You should be ashamed!

This week's Friday Five is all about clothing. But, despite the title, clothing is not optional. So you better not be naked while you're responding to these questions. But if you are...well, we can't decide whether that's just plain awesome because not enough people read Wrecked while naked or whether its creepy because Wrecked doesn't have much content that being naked would help with.

You decide.

1. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?

2. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

3. How many times do you wear a pair of jeans before washing them?

4. What is the last article of clothing you bought?

5. What are you most comfortable in?

Bonus: Gentlemen: boxers, briefs, or boxer briefs? Ladies: do you prefer your guy in boxers, briefs, or boxer briefs? Why?

Friday Five: In Your Dreams

Fri, 28 Aug 2009 00:00:00 GMT

What are dreams? Are the messages from God? Maybe. Are they reflections of our subconscious? Could be.

At Wrecked, we think they are sources for entertainment. Entertain us, therefore, with your dreams!

1. Do you have any recurring dreams? What about?

2. What is the worst dream you've ever had?

3. What is the best dream you've ever had?

4. What was your most recent dream about (that you can remember)?

5. Got any funny stories about sleep, waking up, nightmares, sleepingwalking, etc.?

Bonus: Have you had what you think may be a prophetic dream? What was it about?

Ownership

Thu, 27 Aug 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Let's say you moved into a new house. Unknown to you, the gas pipes make a constant whining noise. So, you find the sound of your high end, surround sound system doesn't sound quite right.

But since you are unaware of the gas pipes making noise you spend a lot of time and money upgrading your speakers, equalizing your system and changing the acoustics of your room. Nothing works.

So, you decide to tear the house down and start over. About the time you're swinging the sledgehammer back to make the first crack in your drywall someone stops by and points out to you that the pipes are the real issue.

Now what? Will you fix the pipes? Or will you tear down the house and spend your time and money on peripheral items?

Let's say you move to a new church. Unknown to you is your inability to resolve personal conflict in a healthy way. You have, what some call, a blind spot.

So, you experience difficulty making friends and when you do make friends you can't keep them. You pray more. You go to church regularly. You get involved in more Bible studies. You even see a professional counselor.

In each venue you ask why your church doesn't foster a healthier environment to make friends. You fail to discover an answer, so you decide to tell your acquaintances at church and in your Bible study that it's time to change churches. But then someone points out that there is one common denominator in all your problems: you.

Now what? Will you work on you? Will you own your issues? Or will you change churches and spend your time and money on peripheral items?

Everywhere you go, there you are.

Luke 6:41, Proverbs 28:13, Proverbs 15:31

Jonathan is a songwriter/poet/pastor from Phoenix, AZ. He is married and has three children, and he blogs at www.theproblemwithreligion.com.

Friday Five: Bucket List

Fri, 14 Aug 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Welp, another Friday is here. Here at Wrecked, we're gonna have a big pizza party. You should stop on by! Our address is the internet.

Uh...yeah...lame joke. Sorry.

We're gonna make this simple, folks. This week's Friday Five is brought to you by Brooke Luby (who wins a CD - email us with your address, debit card number, and pin number, Brooke - just joking on the last two. Seriously, though.) and we're focusing on death. Well, really we're focusing on things you want to do before you die.

So, what are five things that are on your bucket list?

Also, I think we can manage to give away more cool stuff if you come up with next week's theme so don't forget to comment with what you think we should talk about for the next Friday Five

Two Denarii: Samaritans, Homosexuals and Compassion

Mon, 10 Aug 2009 00:00:00 GMT

I had one of those old desks in third grade. You know the one's that would flip-up and you could hide all kinds of favorite things: pencils, old Valentine's Day cards and dreams. One thing was for sure, everything had it's place. The paper was pushed to the front of the desk so it wouldn't get crushed when you closed the aching old lid. The pencils could have gone anywhere, but usually were placed in the black Knight Rider pencil case. Everything had its' rightful place.

I wonder if that childhood moment has had some effect on how we see society and culture around us? I wonder if we think everything should belong somewhere and if it doesn't fit neatly then our world's in disarray.

There was this well-known road in ancient Palestine where thieves would hide and strategically find ways to beat and steal things from the innocent pedestrians that made their way from Jerusalem to Jericho. One day, a Jew comes along and gets beaten up and robbed and a Samaritan helps him. We tend to race past this point of the story. We've heard it many times before. Like an old story our grandfather might have told us about the war he was in long ago. In the Jewish culture, a Samaritan was a racial enemy. Someone who didn't fit in and was disliked. We can all probably think of someone we just can't get along with. That is the protagonist in this story. He's the good guy. But, unlike the desk, he doesn't fit neatly into our stories.

Before Jesus told this story, nobody would have seen the Samaritans as role models. But, according to Jesus, the Samaritan is who we need to take our cues from. We need to learn from him. Back to the story. He comes along after the religious people who we assumed would have helped; the guys who should have known the right thing to do. In the Jewish Torah, life is sacred. Period. According to the Law, they were responsible to protect any human life, even enemies. But they walk on? Do we follow after them? One of the many points of this story is that God can choose to use anyone to get his message across. Even the Samaritan. Even a Muslim.

Yes, even the homosexual.

There is an age-old debate circulating through the halls of our churches and through the living rooms of our house churches. It is whether the homosexual or someone else who has chosen a different lifestyle can actually be used by God. Maybe even in a pulpit. Or in a position of religious responsibility.

If the story of the Good Samaritan teaches us anything, it teaches us that homosexuals have a purpose in the Kingdom of God.

Let's dig a little deeper into why this is so.

The Samaritan pays two denarii (the equivalent to two days wages) to the inn keeper to take care of the man. This seems like a somewhat random detail. However, if you look deeper into the story and the history surrounding this narrative, you might realize that Jesus wants to teach us that God is bigger than our own safe theology. Two denarii was also known as the half-shekel atonement.

At the age of 13, a young Jewish child went from being a boy to a man and one of the many responsibilities of a man in that culture was to pay a temple tax. The temple tax was specifically reserved to purchase animals for the typical once-a-year sacrifice that the priest would enact for everyone on their behalf. His action would atone for the sins of others. Jesus is playing on atonement imagery and of being absolved from our sins.

In this story, though, it isn't the priest who absolves the victim, it is the Samaritan, the outsider. For us, the homosexual. He atones for the victims' sin. It's as if Jesus is saying that there is something bigger than right or wrong, than sin or no sin. The one thing that can absolve the sins of another is hidden in the act of compassion. And anyone can join in on this movement of compassion. There is hope that we all can be a people dedicated to not merely seeing the need of someone else and walking by, but that we all, as the human race can fight indifference and wrong theology with compassion and grace.

This is the invitation. Are you in or are you out?

If you liked this article, check out The Man Beneath the Makeup

George loves the outdoors, singing in the shower and doing underwater, synchronized Pilates. He is currently working on a book entitled "Jesus Bootlegged: Recapturing the Stolen Message of Jesus for The World". You can read more about him at his blog.

Friday Five: Its All About the Benjamins

Fri, 7 Aug 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Money, money, money, money...MONEY.

Don't ask why, but this week's Friday Five is about money, benjamins, paper, bread, dough, scrilla and any other slang terms you use for currency.

1. Excluding a house, car or student loans, what is the single highest purchase you've ever made?

2. How much cash do you have in your wallet/purse right now?

3. Costliest mistake?

4. If you won a million dollars, what is the THIRD thing you would do with it?

5. What is the largest amount of money you have ever held (even if it wasn't yours)?

Bonus: What should be next week's theme? If we select your idea...we'll give you something. Not sure what yet, but we'll figure something out.

Love Your Spouse

Wed, 5 Aug 2009 00:00:00 GMT

I hear screams in the apartment next to us. It's nothing out of the ordinary on a warm day - or any day it seems.

They are hurtful yells - accusations and annoyed tempers. My wife and I sit and lay and read. We talk about our dreams of community. We learn that we're quite oblivious to some of life's common misperceptions.

Throughout college, I craved community as I read about living in large houses with many people and thought of having in depth conversations about God, life and social justice. It all sounded perfect, at least for a wannabe revolutionary.

These books that I came across talked about community among the broken places of Empire. They showed me a world that could be reconciled within neighborhoods and along abandoned streets. But I wondered what was so revolutionary about the communities I often saw.

As far as I was concerned, community was sexy. It was the thing to do and the place to be. We lived with people that were young, single and attractive and whom would maybe consider themselves intellectuals.
We all believed life flowed in the same general direction.

Then one day something happened that broadened my definition of communal life: Marriage.

Why was marriage so different from the way I had lived alongside others before? Because you can't leave when you're ready to follow the next big, new thing. Not to mention that the bathroom has way more interesting things to poke at and the laundry never seems to be done.

There are others living life together who are committed, I know. These are the groups of people who chose each other a long time ago, despite differences and disagreements, aging and restlessness. But I had never been able to be a part of that... at least not for long. I think there's a word for this sort of choosing. Faithfulness.

This type of community is, well, necessary.

That is not to say that more short-term communities are lesser or greater - but that they are different. Maybe some things have a greater chance of growing if you leave their roots alone.

This past February I listened to a group of 20-somethings ask questions about community, and their struggles to find it with their neighbors.

A man came up to ask one of the speakers about he and his wife's recent move into a low-income neighborhood. He spoke with frustration because he wasn't seeing any progress and was having a hard time getting to know the people they now shared the block with. We all understood exactly where this guy was coming from and a collective chuckle came from the audience.

The speaker grabbed the microphone and said one of the most influential statements I would ever hear. "You want to create community?" he asked, "love your wife and work on your marriage."

These were not nearly the words I had expected to hear. It sounded so simple, but rooted itself deep down into a place that I still process with hard questions. When my wife and I find ourselves angry at one another, we are learning to speak with peace rather than violence. We are learning to lay down our weapons before we accuse the other of carrying their own.

In the most basic sense, we are learning.

We are learning that sometimes, community is closer to home than we think.

Josh is a Mississippi boy who now lives in Portland, Oregon. He is currently enjoying being a newlywed to his lovely wife Hannah, who both met in 2007 while serving with Word Made Flesh in Calcutta, India. His interests include: books, gardens, racial reconciliation, southern cuisine, coffee and birds (in no particular order). Josh is also an aspiring: writer, Stumptown barista-extraordinaire and world-renowned southern chef. He writes here.

Holy Listening

Mon, 3 Aug 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Like most teenage girls, she can get moody. She stormed upstairs and slammed the door. I really wanted to talk with her, but I had long since learned that trying to "make her talk" got me just the opposite. So, praying and thinking, I made my way up the stairs, trying to imagine a different way of connecting. I knocked on the door.

"I don't want to talk," came the terse response to the knock.

And, without really thinking it through, I answered, "I don't want to talk either." And she invited me in.

I went in. I sat. I didn't say a word. I listened to a few soft sighs. I watched her write in her journal. I heard the music she was playing on her stereo. And then I thanked her and I left. And I learned something.

A few days later, this teenage girl asked me if we could talk. And as she began to let me into her world and into her heart it dawned on me what had happened. What occurred in that moment in her room left her feeling safe . . . with everything she was feeling. And, feeling safe, she felt free to talk.

I think that is healthy. And I think that should be happening in the community of faith.

Sometimes, we don't just give people space to feel what they are feeling, to tell the story of what is going on in their souls. We just don't listen well. And, so, no one ever quite feels safe. But that woman did, the one who formerly had a "flow of blood." In Mark 5 she makes her way through the crowd. She hopes, she yearns, she believes that if she can but get to Jesus she will be healed. And that is what happens. She touches him and she is healed; she knows it and so does Jesus.

But then Jesus asks, "Who touched me?" And he waits for her to come forward. But the problem is already fixed! She has been healed. She is no longer unclean. She can go back to normal living. Or so it would seem. But Jesus waits for her to come forward. And Mark tells us that this woman "who had [been afflicted] for twelve years, and had endured much at the hands of many physicians, and had spent all that she had and was not helped at all, but rather had grown worse," proceeds to tell Jesus, "the whole truth."

That would have taken a long time - to tell that whole truth. And Jesus listened for her to tell the whole story. Apparently, Jesus was doing what was really needed, really healthy and holy, in caring for this woman. He let her tell him the whole story. He listened. That mattered . . . because she mattered to him.

Do you feel the grace and wonder and kindness and tenderness in that moment? Do you ever wish that someone, anyone, would listen to your whole story?

As Christians, we want people to "get saved" and have their sin problem fixed. That's not a bad thing, not at all. But there might be more to experiencing life with Jesus than having the cross applied to our souls. We might actually need to have safe space to really be who were are in the midst of Christ's great work, while we are still recovering from the ravages of sin and fallen-ness. We might need someone to hear our whole story.

Apparently this woman who came to Jesus not only believed that touching him would bring her healing but she also believed that telling him her whole story would feel safe. Even after Jesus' gracious work of healing, there was a story to be told and heard, there was more of life together to be experienced, there was some taste of grace yet to be explored.

And she found in Jesus someone to whom she could tell her whole story. I wonder if any of those friends of Jesus I have met would be willing to listen to my whole story. I wonder if anyone who knows I know Jesus thinks that I am safe enough to tell their whole story.

I wonder if this taste of grace is really appreciated in the community of faith called by his name.

Do you think these tastes of grace are appreciated in the community of faith?

Have there been times when you didn't feel safe? Why?

Have there been times when you felt completely safe? How?

How can communities begin to implement this type of listening?

Brian is on a life long adventure into an ever-expanding experience of joy in being a follower of Jesus. Reflections on this adventure can be found at his blog, Summathetes.

Friday Five: Animal Kingdom

Fri, 31 Jul 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Here at Wrecked, we wrestle bears and swim with dolphins on a regular basis - the bears are just to keep in shape but we teach the dolphins how to do awesome stuff and entertain millions. Its actually part of our job description. As a result, we're pretty familiar with the Animal Kingdom. In fact, some of us are in close contact with animals on a regular basis (insert husband joke here).

Anyways, we want to know what you think about animals and whether you have any of your own (or if, like Michael J. Fox in the mid-80's, you are an animal).

1. What kind of pets do you have and what are their names? (For those of you without pets, tell us what kind of pet you would like to have someday and what you might name them)

2. If you could domesticate any animal and keep it as a pet, what would you choose?

3. What was your high-school mascot?

4. Best animal-focused movie?

5. What kind of animal do you hate the most and why?

Bonus: What is your porn star name? (First Name = Name of your first pet; Last Name = First street you lived on - if you can't remember the first, go as far back as possible)

Speaking of animals...Chipotle sounds good right about now. Mmmmmm...barbacoa.

Healing the Hurting

Wed, 29 Jul 2009 00:00:00 GMT

People are hurting. Just the other day, a friend of mine took his life. About a week ago, the mother of a friend slowly and painfully died of cancer. People are hurting.

Recently reported in an online news reel were soldiers on both side of the Pakistan rift with lost family members, but we read them like they are part of some Hollywood scene that passes across our television screens.

The world is falling apart right in front of our eyes and somehow apathy has crept in and instead of us rushing to meet the needs of those in need, we build fences. We buy guns. We buy life insurance just to make sure everything is going to be okay. And as James says in his letter to a few pastors, "Brothers, this should not be so!"

Ancient Jewish Rabbis believed that all things are connected. Years later, a Jewish missionary in the Bible would use our bodies as a metaphor for how connected we really are. Yet, we're more disconnected now in all of our history as humanity than we ever have been.

During the dawn of mankind, we lived and breathed life in community -- we now call them tribes. Today, our tribes consist of people who are just like us. Who believe like us. Who wear the same clothes like us. Who go to the same churches and believe in the same God like us.

When one of us hurt, all of us should hurt. Jesus said it this way, "love one another." Other writers followed by saying, "bear one another's burdens." We weren't made to walk through life alone. We weren't made to be islands.

In fact, in one place Christ was talking with some of his close friends and he tells them that people are going to be able to tell them apart from everyone else around by how they love one another. There are so many thoughts on this. Christ is saying that you cannot separate love from his movement. His movement is fueled by love. Another way to say it is, "love wins!"

Those who are hurting don't need clichs about God and how He has a plan. They don't need Bible verses to help them through their grief. Clichs are limiting. What they need is our love. Our ears to listen. Our hands to carry and heal. The Jews have this practice called Sitting Shiva; when someone lost a dear friend they would have a week of mourning.

During this week of mourning close friends and family would come by and cry with mourner if they wanted to cry. If the mourner wanted to laugh, they would laugh. If there was the silence of a breaking heart, the friend would be near to help catch it when it hit the ground. We were made for one another.

Too many times in Christianity we are taught to have answers, and this is one of those times where any answer can do more damage then good. Just love one another. Hold one another.

There is healing there.

Friday Five: Family

Fri, 24 Jul 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Welcome back, folks!

We hope you have each had an enjoyable week thus far and also hope that this weekend is one filled with merriment and activities for you. Below are this week's questions, focused around family - the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Enjoy!

1. In one word, describe your family.

2. Only child - good or bad?

3. Quick, tell us something funny about a family experience of yours!

4. Is there anything from your childhood family traditions that you will continue with your children?

5. If you could travel back in time and talk to yourself as a kid, what would you tell yourself to prepare you for the future?

Bonus: Do you have any siblings and, if so, where do you fit among them (i.e. middle child, youngest, oldest, etc.)?

That's all folks!

The Ministry of Community: Finding God in People

Fri, 24 Jul 2009 00:00:00 GMT

"Ministry," as you might call it, occurs daily here in Antigua, Guatemala. We teach ESL, paint orphanages, comfort malnourished children, and visit hospitals. We pray for the Guatemalans and petition God for this city. Even on off days we share our passion for Christ with those placed in our paths.

Underlying all of this is another ministry, and it is, perhaps, our most "productive," if you will. It is comprised of six people, and it has taught me more than 1,000 days of "doing" ever will. (I say this not to belittle the outward aspects of ministry by any means, but rather to exalt a big part of what sets us apart from the many do-gooders in the humanitarian realm.)

These people are my family. They are my brothers and sisters in Christ, and we share a bond that will never be broken. We have eternity, and it is from this family that I have learned community.

True community. Not a country club, swim team, sorority, or cheer squad. The kind of community that comes from agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose. It comes from not being selfish and not trying to impress others because our only boast is Christ. It comes from humility, thinking of others as better than ourselves, and taking a genuine interest in them. Above all, it takes having the attitude of Christ. (Philippians 2:1-11)

It is not easy, nor is it always comfortable. We have to be willing to be stretched, molded, and transformed into God's image. We have to invite Him into our every activity. We have to stop limiting Him to Sundays and Wednesdays -- to songs and prayers.

He is in our orphanages and our ESL classes -- true. But He was also in the lagoon as I floated and tanned. He is in our inside jokes and His joy fills our laughter. Life is ministry, and in that lies our community. We each have it - it is only a matter of asking God to reveal it and allowing it to change you.

We are not perfect, and this is not human nature. However, it is worth the sacrifice. In fact, nothing in which you gain so much can even be considered a sacrifice.

That being said, it is my pleasure to sit outside in sunny, beautiful Guatemala and write you these words. It is my joy to miss you and long to see your faces. I can say this because the Spirit of God permeates this place, my heart, and my team.

More than anything, I say this, because I have drunk deeply from the well and experiences of a true Acts 2 community.

Rebekah is on a mission trip that is taking her through Central America this summer. Read her team blog here.

Friday Five: Jobs

Fri, 17 Jul 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Hey, hey, hey. Happy Friday everyone. The theme for this Friday Five is: "Jobs." We've all had them (I hope); we've all sometimes wished we were somewhere else while working; and we've all wondered, "What am I supposed to do with my life?"

So, let's share, connect, and encourage one another in the epic pursuit of finding meaning and purpose in our vocations.

1. What was the best job you ever had?

2. What was the worst job you ever had?

3. What would you if you could do anything (and you didn't have to worry about paying the bills)?

4. Have you ever done what that guy in Office Space did, where you just skip out on work and do nothing? Better yet, have you ever wanted to?

5. What do you do to pass the time at work when you're bored or ready for the weekend to start?

Friday Five: Favorites

Fri, 10 Jul 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Before we launch into this week's Friday Five, we have to say sorry. You may have noticed that last week there was no Friday Five. In our defense, it was the day before the Fourth of July and unlike many of you we were hard work preparing reports, recruiting new writers, consulting the President...you know, saving the world.

Okay, fine, we forgot - plain and simple. But give the prior week's weak response to the questions, we blame you.

Okay, fine, we're sorry for saying that. Really, though, we missed you guys! Let's make this week's good, eh?

1. What is your favorite holiday and why?

2. What was your favorite t.v. show growing up?

3. What is your favorite book?

4. What is your favorite Bible verse?

5. What was/is your favorite class in high school?

Do it.

Experiencing Community in Ukraine

Wed, 8 Jul 2009 00:00:00 GMT

We live in a cement jungle on the outskirts of Kyiv, Ukraine. Hundreds of apartment buildings dominate this section called . That's pronounced "Poznicky." And you just thought "3" was a number. Nope. Sounds like a "Z'" here.

We live in Building 21, Apartment 21. We take a tiny elevator to the sixth floor. We can't all go at once because: a) we don't all fit, and b) the "overweight" light comes on. There aren't really any lights, but there is a mirror, so you can watch yourself the whole way up.

My phone has a flashlight on it, which comes in handy for walking down the dark hallway to our apartment.

Then, the real fun begins: opening the door. You'd think that would be a simple task, but you would be wrong. It basically involves turning the key towards the door jam to unlock it and jimmying the handle rapidly while pulling on the door. We're not sure why it ever opens, but we're always thankful when it does. It's worse on the way out. Alex and Helen tried to go to the store, but gave up when they couldn't get the door open.

The outlets are taped to the walls.

The toilet never stops running.

And we love it.

We can eat family dinners around the kitchen table. We can hang our laundry on the little enclosed balcony outside. (And all over the apartment because with seven people, there's a lot of laundry.) We get to operate like a family, which means stepping on each other's toes (and beds and laundry and computers.) It means doing the dishes, even though you didn't use them. It means everybody knows when you wake up grumpy, but it also means playing board games until midnight and praying in your pajamas every morning. It means everybody does know when you wake up grumpy, or when you have a bad day, or when you get great news from home.

It's community.

Jill always asks about my brother and sister by name. She remembers when Katy is graduating and that she spent last semester in Honduras. She called last month when my grandfather died, because she knew I'd been afraid of that all year. Helen prays for my family at home with specific requests.

Shiloh and Alex bought me Sharpies (well, the Ukrainian version), because they know they're my favorite. Patrick looks for me every time we get off the train, so I don't get lost in the crowd. (That's easy to do when you're little!) Ben got up at 7 am to travel two hours back and forth across Kyiv with me just to retrieve the phone charger and adapter I left with another ministry contact.

Yeah, we've left our families behind for the year. But we've found family out here on the mission field. And just like our families at home, we don't get to choose them. We don't always like them. We get annoyed and frustrated.

But then, they care for us so well. They remember our favorite treats (Diet Coke and candy). They know when to let us wallow and when to give us a kick in the pants. They know what we need when we don't even know ourselves.

That's the beauty of community.

Kelly is from Colorado and is currently traveling the world on a global mission trip. You can follow her blog here.

If Mountains Could Speak: Worship and the Image of God

Thu, 2 Jul 2009 00:00:00 GMT

I was standing on top of Pike's Peak overlooking the city below. I recall describing the view to my friends as one of the most spectacular things I have ever seen. It was literally breathtaking. I've traveled a lot in my life, and I've seen some amazing things, but nothing, nothing compared to the view I had from the top of the mountain. Awestruck by the fact that I could see the fields of Kansas from where I stood, I was filled with amazement as I thought about the God who created all of this.

I think we have all had experiences similar to the one I just described. Maybe it was in the crashing of the waves on the sand, a sunrise, or a field of wildflowers. Regardless of the specifics of your experience, we have all been amazed by God's ability and his magnificent creation.

It reminds me of a conversation I was involved in about worship experiences. People talked about camps they had gone to while they we teenagers, or concerts they had been to with their friends, but over and over again I heard people talking about times when they were surrounded by God's creation. Mountains tend to be particularly captivating. Their magnificent size and glorious landscape draws a sense of awe from us.

Amidst all of this, I began to wonder: what if the mountains could see? What would they say about us? We are so taken by creation, and we describe the mountains and the ocean, even animals, with words such as "amazing," "breathtaking," or "incredible"; but we, we are God's most prized creation. He takes delight in us.

In Genesis 1:27, it reads, "So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them." Nowhere else in the account of creation does it say that God created something in his own image. Nothing else bears a resemblance to Him. He reserved his image for us - for mankind.

We hear this all the time. We hear sermon after sermon about being created in the image of God. We have conversations about how we need to see ourselves as God sees us, and these are great things to hear and to talk about, but there is so much more that we are missing. I think we forget in those conversations that we were the culmination of creation. We were the final piece to the puzzle. Everything that had been created was put under our stewardship. We are God's most prized possession. He didn't send Jesus to die for the mountains, or for the animals, He sent His Son to die for us. He takes delight in us.

I have to believe that if the mountains could express what they see when they look at us they would be speechless. They would have a desire to cry out to the God who is worthy of all praise. They would see us, and know that He is God. We would be their greatest worship experience. We would be the thing that reminds them of how powerful God is, and that brings them so close it is as if He is sitting right next to them. We would be the image that ushers them into the presence of God.

Why, then, are we not compelled to worship at the sight of those around us? We rarely, if ever, feel the same things when we see each other as we do when we see the beauty of creation. We can very easily contain our excitement in what God has done when we see each other, but not so easily when we witness the magnificence of creation.

What if we were drawn to the heart of God by just a glimpse of our own reflection? What if our hearts cried out to God when we saw another who bears His image? The way we define worship would change drastically!

The mountains are truly magnificent, but you are even more so. The ocean is incredible, but your neighbor is even more so. Whatever words you use to describe the creation around you, apply them to people. People are greater than any other created thing, bearers of the image of God.

Allow yourself to worship God for his most prized creation.

Cassie is an eighth grade language arts teacher living in Colorado with her husband, Jesse. Her interests include the Twilight series, youth ministry, and the Melting Pot. In total, she has traveled to twenty-three different countries while on missions trips.

Everybody Thinks This Is a Great Post

Tue, 30 Jun 2009 00:00:00 GMT

The most common, useless phrases all start with something like, "Everyone thinks..." or, "I know a lot of people who say..." or, "A bunch of people are..."

In the church, or in the office, or the school, or within the political party, or or any other place you can imagine both physical and virtual these phrases are completely unhelpful and often toxic.

I can almost guarantee you that the person(s) using these phrases is wrong.

They haven't taken the time to get a lot of feedback or specific input. They haven't asked important questions. They often don't even care about logic.

They're being driven by emotion, responding to their small circle of friends and trying to sound knowledgeable by making absolute statements.

Don't fall for it. Don't lead or manage that way. Help your people move past the fear of what "everyone thinks" and get to the heart of the issue.

Jonathan is a songwriter/poet/pastor from Phoenix, AZ. He is married, has three children and blogs at www.theproblemwithreligion.com.

Friday Five: Life, Love and Forgiveness

Fri, 26 Jun 2009 00:00:00 GMT

This has been a week of mourning for our country. With the deaths of Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, and Michael Jackson, many of us are left stunned with the fragility of life and the memories of those whom we have looked up to.

For this week's Friday Five, we are going to take life a little more serious.

1. Give us three items from your "bucket list"

2. If today were your last day, what would you spend your time doing?

3. What is your best childhood memory?

4. If you could have the opportunity to spend time with any person from history, who would you choose and why?

5. When you die, what do you hope people say about you?

Bonus: For this week's bonus question, we are going to turn it into a challenge. Many of us have been holding grudges against a family member, friend, or someone else and we are harboring unforgiveness in our heart. Whoever that is for you, we challenge you to rise above the ordinary of bitterness and instead forgive. Do what you can to reconcile the relationship. Call whoever it is you need to and let them know you forgive them. Don't wait another day. Don't risk going to your grave, or letting the other person go to theirs without taking care of this.

Blessings, friends.

Friday Five: Schmorgasborg

Fri, 19 Jun 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Yes...that word is spelled correctly. Don't question it.

This week we have a...schmorgasborg...of questions. No theme, really. Just random stuff that comes to my (the friday five god's) mind.

1. Favorite fast food restaurant?

2. If you could choose to be an animal, what animal would you be and why?

3. What is in your pockets right now?

4. Last thing you read in print?

5. Who is your hero/role model?

Love you guys. Wouldn't it be sweet if we could all just hang out together at one big party? Maybe play some Scattegories?

I do like Scattegories.

Marketers, Quit Hijacking Our Communities

Thu, 18 Jun 2009 00:00:00 GMT

I'm a marketer; it's what I do. I couch it in religious terms like "missions mobilizer," but at the end of the day, I do marketing. I used to have a problem with that, until I realized marketing wasn't evil. It's just communicating a message to a group of people in a way that prompts action on their part. Still, I have to measure and track everything that I do. I have to answer questions about scalability, conversion, and retention. And if I'm not careful, it can get to me.

I begin to measure everything -- my blog readers, facebook friends, ezine subscribers, and even the amount of emails I answer every day. If this goes for awhile unchecked, I start seeing people as "numbers" and communities as "target demographics." When I get to this point, I usually need to detox.

That's the danger in having the world at your fingertips. You start abusing it, instead of treating it as a privilege to have access to so many with such ease. If you're not careful with stewarding these connections, people stop listening to you.

Sure, they may still subscribe to your email blasts, attend your church, or even hang out with you. But inevitably, if the community is about the numbers, people stop listening.

Marketer Seth Godin quotes Dave Balter in using the term "scalejacking" and explains the dangers of measuring everything:

Because marketers were raised on the scale of mass-TV, radio, newspapers, they have a churn and burn mentality. The internet turns this upside down. The internet is about who, not how many. The internet lets you take really good care of 100 people instead of harassing 2,000.
Yet, panicked marketers still look for scale (How many followers can we get? What can we do with a Facebook fan page?) and then hijack that attention, hoping to filter out the masses and get a few sales.

Scalejacking inevitably tarnishes most communities, because individuals (people) hate being treated like numbers just standing by to be filtered.

I confess that I'm guilty of this. Despite my shortcomings, something interesting has been happening at our little community of Wrecked.org lately -- more conversations are happening. The comments are abounding; there are disagreements and debates; and people are coming together from all around the world to challenge and encourage each other.

Would you believe that our monthly unique visitors are lower than usual? As the editor and co-founder of this website, that eats at me a little, but when I see all the comments and conversations happening, I wouldn't trade it for a few more visitors. What's the point if no one's responding? Were they ever really listening in the first place?

We leaders, marketers, and revolutionaries need to be awfully careful that we do not measure the "success" of our efforts based solely on metrics. We need to avoid delving into this comomditization of the community, where we treat everyone like a number. The consequences are fatal to those that are trusting us to lead and guide them. And pretty soon, our marketing is ineffective and our message is meaningless. "Community" becomes another byword for "customer base", and once again Christians are being called (rightfully so) hypocritical.

I propose that we stop counting. I'm not just talking about church -- I'm talking about small groups, blogs, monastic communities, cook-outs, online message boards, parties, email lists, and so on. Let's take a break from evaluating everything by a number. Sure, there's good in setting goals, tracking success, and so forth, but numbers are not the end; relationships are. So, let's pick something else to measure -- conversations, interactions, actual lives changed. Chances are, you're not doing what you do for the numbers; you're doing it for a vision or to create change.

As an American, I've been inundated with the idea of capitalism since I was a boy. There's nothing wrong with that -- living in a free market society has a lot of perks, advantages, and opportunities. It's actually quite a blessing. However, given the competitive nature of business in the United States, this consumeristic, "more" mentality can invade other parts of our lives, too -- like our friendships, our families, and even our spiritual lives.

More doesn't necessarily mean better. Actually, it just means more.

Jeff graduated from Illinois College, a small liberal arts school, with a degree in Spanish and Religion. He lives in Nashville, TN with his wife Ashley. He works for Adventures in Missions, edits this silly little magazine, and loves to do new things. Check out his blog: Pilgrimage of the Heart.